Saturday, October 5, 2013
I can't believe it's October already, this year has truly flown by! Only 3 more months until the end of the year.
I don't know about you but I have never been so stressed out in my life, and trust me, I've been through some things. Tuesday I visited my doctor blood pressure follow-up care. They had to DOUBLE the dosage of my medication... what, how in the world does that have to happen! Then they tell me that my last blood work showed signs of high blood sugar. So they took more blood to send off for testing telling me it's a strong possibility that I'm pre-diabetic or may have transitioned over to full blown diabetes! That is not what I needed to hear.
I'm having a really hard time this school year. Have you ever felt like you're being punished for being an effective teacher? Well this year I truly feel that way. It's not the students, it's never the kids for me. Although there are 26 of them this year and there was only 22 of the last year. I've always had the LD cluster and lumped with them were the students they "thought" might qualify. But in the past my LD students were pulled out. This year they're using the collab model and I truly feel I'm in this alone. I would go into detail but that wouldn't be professional.
But basically I cry everyday on the way to work and have even had a couple of panic attacks. The thought of having to go to work and basically try to meet the diverse needs of all 26 of my students alone is very overwhelming. I requested a break from this cluster this year but it didn't happen. Basically I get told "you're too good, those kids need someone like you." But someone else can be just as good if given the chance.
It also doesn't help that I'm team leader this year, I sit on the schools school improvement team and we're in a school improvement year, I'm a mentor to a new teacher on my team and in the spring I'll be training to be apart of VCU's Clinical Faculty (basically they train me to train their student teachers in my classroom).
And to top it off, lesson plan week is coming. What is lesson plan week you ask? Well if you've been working at my school for less than three years you have to write lesson plans like a student teacher and turn them in for that week. My first year we had four of them. Last year we had three of them. This year we only have two of them, THANK GOD! And it's my last year doing this. So even though my summative evaluation from last year states that I am beyond proficient, I'm an exemplary educator and this is my 10th year teaching...because this is only my 3rd year at this school I still have to turn in plans like I'm a probationary teacher.
So on top of everything I got going on in my life right now, I have to add writing 4 hours worth of lesson plans to the list. Hopefully you're having a better year than me and I stand on God's word that he won't put more on me than I can bear but I am truly being pushed to the limit and it can't be good for my health right now.